Day 3

Everyday is hard for him, but he is making it by. He cut down what he is doing a day by over half and we are tapering down. Yesterday, though he got sick, it made it through the day. Today he cheated on that plan and did more than that. He finished what he had by 3 and had to get more. Not only did he cheat on the deal, he yelled at me and blamed me for him not having anything for him or a car to drive.

I'm tired of risking my relationship with my parents because of this. I'm tired of no matter what I do, it is always about him. If I cannot get his every single need right away, all hell breaks loose. And if I don't do "one simple task" I "spit in his face". Yeah, sure, sorry I won't let you borrow MY car in MY dad's name to get your drugs when you don't know where your ID is. Then he tries to tell me I ruined his life because my parents were yelling at me and thats why he could't use the car. NO. My parents yell at me because of him and what I am doing. So no, its not my fault. It's his.

He either needs to learn that everything is not about him, or I'm not sure this will work. I work 40 hours a week and am a full time student. What does he do? Lay around.

Something needs to change. Fast.

Day 1

Cold turkey did not work. He did not have any for 18 hours, and already he was shaking uncontrollably as well as many other things. Instead of cold turkey, he is going to wean down. Today we got half of what he usually does in one day, hopefully it will work this way. 

Day 0

He's getting his life back. Hopefully. I was going to tell him after work today that this was not working. I cannot spend $70 a day on an unhealthy diet. I cannot steal from my parents no longer. I cannot let him ruin his life and my own for a bad habit. I did not have to tell him this. He told me himself, after today he was going cold turkey. The initial thought was utter bliss, the after thoughts were not. This means for a minimum for 5 days I have to help him get through the shakes, the chills, the awful nausea, and many more. The hardest will be helping him emotionally through it and supporting him that he can quit; it will be extremely difficult, but he can do it.

I went over after work and gave him the last of his dope I was saving for him. It was the last he should have. And he knows this. I left him telling him how proud I was and that I love him more than life itself. I went back over around 9, obviously at this point he is still feeling physically okay, but mentally, he is very quiet, preparing himself for the hell to come. As the night continued we lay watching tv, me holding him, trying to comfort him, but trying to comfort myself also. 

What do I get to help him through this? Is there anything to help one through this? Can he really do this? Will this really happen or will I be on my way to the dope boy tomorrow? 

I pray this is really the end of the hell I have been living the past year. No more spending more money that I have, working to get out of debt, more concentration on school, no more dope boys, no more waking up early to get some, no more stealing, no more pawning, no more lying and then finally, my fairytale can come true with the man of my dreams.

So this is the last day of my old life, let's hope tomorrow we start a new life together, and let's hope it will be beautiful.